Thursday, March 3, 2011

Selfish....the revelation.


The ever, never ending driving-until-I-hit-the-stop-light...PLEASE DON'T LOOK at me story...

Now, for me this is usually a rarity (not because no one LOOKS!!! but because I tend to not pay too much attention) BUT today, was one of those out of the norm days. I was leaving a dance class and just ran into my high school crush....randomly. So, I was processing through my mind, and listening to my mother's chant of "this must be fate" (not her words but mine...). And i pull up next to this gentleman, and I take notice of him:
  1. Nice looking (locs, looks well taken care of but who can tell from the other side of street)
  2. Driving a nice car (yeah, i know superficial to be honest, I wasn't paying attention this is an assumption)
  3. And He's looking at me!!
At that moment, I do what I don't normally do, turn my head!! (My ususal protcol is to smile cooly, wave hello and face forward....yeah I have a protocol). Then I say to myself, "why is he looking at me?" This is my inner Then I wait, and turn back, now by this time, he isn't gawking at me, but it's me staring at him. This was a site, i've seen before but nothing quite like this. The man was rockin' out, to some loud music, and I assumed that it was some rap or something and I turn down my Isreal Houghton, to find that the man is praising JESUS, to some Gospel. By this time, I am floored...completely. I mean, i'm cracking up and repenting at the same time.

This moment, had me so jacked up, that I had to keep myself from wanting to find out the man's name and asking him to turn up his music, so i could hear it. I mean seriously...

REALITY CHECK:  This is the honesty point. It WAS only a glance for pete's sake, and I was so worried about him looking at me and the situations from the past, that I instantly judged this dude. Imagine my slap in the face, when He wasn't staring at me and He was listening to Jesus music.

I think sometimes I can get so wrapped up in my own happenings, that I forget that people have their own lives, I mean really. Honesly, I can say that finding out he was listeing to Gospel, immediately changed my heart towards him, and I dont know if it was for the better, there was this isntaneous lurch, that said..."oooh girl, if you catch up to him, he could be somebody, you want to get to know". And i missed a turn on purpose to see if he was going my way, as it turns out he was BUT, not the same place. Score for Jesus, SMACK for me!

This was probalbly one of the more selfish happenings of my day, but it caused me to realize, in how many situations do I respond as if it was all centered on me.  Thinking, that the other person, is ill-intented and wants to do me some harm or make me uncomfortable. It is good to be wise and descerning, but sometimes that can turn into a "self" festival That event, was probably one of the more eye-opening ones because, it showed me my own heart, at least in this situation.

The revealing of your own, can often times be a scary one....but when you let go and allow it to happen, some pretty awe-inspiring things can come out of it. Sometimes you find that what you thought was in your heart, isn't really what you thought it would be.

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